• “Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want to happen. I have such an overwhelming sense that if you’re in the right state of heart, the next right thing appears to you.”

• “It’s a blanket statement to say, ‘That guy’s really sharp and amicable and nice,’ because there’s a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there’s a little bit of genius in every moron.”

• “Acting was the easiest way to differentiate myself. It was something people felt was daunting but nothing’s daunting once you’ve done it three times. Most try skydiving once. Anyone who does it more will probably do it for the rest of their lives because a, it’s a rush; b, it sounds really badass, and c, then you’re one of those people and there’s identity in that. You’re one of those freaks that everyone kind of wishes they were too who’s fanning out and creating a snowflake at 12,000ft.”

• “I’ve become a picky little bitch. I’ve never bothered to plan projects before I just used to throw the script across the room and say, ‘why do they keep sending me this horseshit?’ And then I’d start rehearsals two weeks later.”

• “When you have a good script you’re almost in more trouble than when you have a terrible script.”

• “I’m not that big a reader, I’m not particularly well educated. My mom and dad used to while away their hours writing and I would hear them trying out lines on each other. I have a general idea about a variety of topics, and so when I’m out there trying to tapdance my way through a dinner where there’s a bunch of smart and accomplished people, I want to be able to say words like ‘palimpsest,’ or reference Gore Vidal, or pull some Prokofiev movements out of my ass.”

• “I don’t see why I’d want to do another album. The Futurist came out and made its money back, but I worked my ass off and I was not compensated in the fashion I was accustomed to.”

• “For years I took pride in being resilient but that turned me into this guy who can get hit by a brick bat every morning and still look kind of cute.”

• On his wife, Susan: “I like things to look nice and orderly. But we step over each other sometimes, and I find my socks in her bag. Sometimes Susan calms me down and other times she’s the reason I am annoyed.”

• “I am very, very, very high maintenance.”

• “Almost every day, I change at least three times. If I go away for a weekend, I swear to God I need the biggest Samsonite you can imagine.”

• “Not to get all Michael Jackson on you, but I didn’t really have a childhood. So I kind of fit it in between 28 and 37.”

• “My father was and still is my role model.”

• “I’m not really afraid of total failure, because I don’t think that will happen. I’m not afraid of success, because that beats the hell out of failure. It’s being in the middle that scares me. I’ve done some mediocre stuff, and it really bothers me. Having to live with mediocrity is pretty scary.”

• “It doesn’t matter whether or not you can act. If you can go into a room and make these sweaters want you, that’s what’ll get you the job.”

• “I wanted to make a million dollars. I wanted my name above the titles and I wanted everyone to know who I was and all my friends, ‘Wow, I wish I were him.’ It probably wouldn’t have made my any happier but at least it would have given me the guise of success.”

• “I would say that among my many huge emotional miscalculations was my taking a film career for granted. It is the most awesome privilege to be able to use one’s imagination and wit, physicality and musicality, conscious brain and unconscious instinct in the service of a work that has a chance to move and excite and amuse and delight people all over the world, including long after we’re dead. What a noble calling! And I felt it was just there for me as a kind of given, some sort of inherited birthright–when in reality it’s the most magnificent luxury.”

• “Part of me feels that acting is my job – a damn good living, and I don’t want to give up the lifestyle – but another part is just starting to recognize the tertiary, healing, element to art. I have to believe that there’s something, some greater purpose, for my doing it, because, really, nobody has any business playing Charlie Chaplin.”

• “Men are goats, we can’t help it. Unless we really decide to, and then something changes in our eyes, and things are just a little different forever. I address women differently now. Before, there was always some part of me that subconsciously was cruising them. Any member of the opposite sex that I met. So now when I go out to lunch, I just order food, and keep it above chin level.”

• “There is no mystery about me. The more one tries to uncover the mystery, the more they’ll find out I’m just like everybody else. You know, I don’t know why people say, God, he’s such a normal guy!, like that’s some great revelation. I mean, some people are more gifted than others in certain areas, but we all bodily functions and love our families in some way or another, you know, and like playing Pictionary.”

• “Growing up is something that you do your whole life. I want to always feel that I can be a kid if I want. Growing up has some negative connotations. Like, you’re not supposed to roll around on the ground anymore. You’re not supposed to make fun of yourself. You’re not supposed to ride a bicycle. But I’m a Toys-R-Us kid.”

• “I consider myself intelligent, but being a high-school dropout, I might not have pursued certain skills. There’s the whole planning-your-life thing. Was there some class I missed during the last semester of my senior year that would have made it all come together?”

• “Some part of me always felt like I would never amount to anything, and there I was, starting to amount to something, at least on the outside. So what was going on and what my beliefs were about myself were not coinciding. I had a desire for buffers.”

“If I was a lawyer, I’d be my own best client.”